"My wife of 18 yrs wants a divorce and is unfaithful...The pain in all this has made me contemplate suicide... Please God what am I to do."
"This prayer request is for my marriage to my beloved wife of 10 1/2 years...This is dire, my wife has already seen an attorney for a divorce, but is also severely depressed and needs me more than ever. Please help us Lord, we have four wonderful kids to live for."
"Me and my wife have been having some problems, and she's slept with two different guys in the past month. I came home a little early from work and caught her last night and she left with the guy. Me and our 7 month old son are still here and she's pregnant with our second child. Please pray that she will realize what she's doing and come home to us, please."
"My husband and I have been married for 6 months and he wants a divorce."
An open letter from the founder of In Need of Prayer.com
The LORD has placed it on my heart to write about a topic that I am seeing more and more come to us for prayer - and that is regarding marriages that are in crisis. As you may have noticed, we have received prayers, from both men and women, who have either recently found out that their spouses have had an affair or they have written for prayer because they are having trouble communicating with their significant other for one reason or another. Let me start by saying that I am not a counselor in any way. Yet, while I am not a counselor, I don't think that I need to be one to comment on something that we all need to have deeply rooted in our hearts and our entire being - Forgiveness.
Some of the prayers that we have received here have been from people who have been in a relationship with their spouse for years, "we dated for "x" years, have been married for "y", blah, blah, blah." Now, the person needing prayer writes, "my spouse wants a divorce"... "they have left me and the children"... "what do I do?".
My feeling, first and foremost, is that both of you need to stop and take a breath and think. Think about how you met, why you met, how you got married, why you got married and most of all, how you got to the point you are now and why you got to the point you are right now. Without a doubt, unless you are in a one-sided abusive relationship, both of you "have a nickel in the dime", and neither of you is without fault, and no doubt there have been some hurtful words and actions that I am sure that both of you would like to take back. But one thing needs to be remembered, both of you are wonderful people and both of you deep in your hearts love each other and truly want each other. Somewhere along the line the two of you just got off track and that's where the two of you need to begin.
To the person who is feeling betrayed and unable to
make the hurt go away and unable to get your spouse to talk and work things out:
I feel that it is on my heart from the LORD to tell you that HE hears you, HE sees what you are going through and HE is truly going to get you through it all. I know that on the surface that that may just sound like hollow words from an unseen GOD, but it is true. You know the LORD is here and that HE is real, so, of course, HE sees what you are going through.
This is one of those times that you must trust HIM and be still and know that HE is GOD.
To the person who is unwilling to talk and
work things out with your spouse:
I feel that it is on my heart to say to you that you must begin to embrace an element of forgiveness, you must. That is what the LORD calls us to do no matter what, bottom line. Now, your spouse has obviously been reaching out to you, otherwise they would not have submitted a prayer on here for things to get better. And you may be thinking to yourself:
"yeah, but it is all just too little, too late. You don't know how he/she has hurt me. Now he/she expects me to just all of a sudden forgive them? Well, it's not that easy. I don't even know if I still love them anymore anyway...".
Ok, fine, you are free to feel whatever you want. But consider one thing - imagine if the LORD, in all of your imperfections, in all of your insecurities, after all of the times that you fell short and made a mistake, lost your temper, acted out by having an affair, displayed hurtful and/or abusive behavior, etc,... imagine if the LORD looked at you, HIS loved one, and took the exact same position that you are taking towards your loved one right now and HE didn't want to listen to you, didn't want to talk to you, didn't want to forgive you.
Just think about that for a minute...
Listen, your spouse is not perfect and I am sure that they will be the first to admit that to you. No one is. We are all filled with hurts and fears and faults, and that's just who we are and how we are. But your loved one is also the same person who you once loved because of who they are and how they are; hurts and fears and faults and all,
and right now,... they need you. They have been reaching out to you, they have been praying for you. Yes, they may have hurt you in the past in some way, but you have not always been perfect either, and right now, they are reaching out to you, asking for your help and for your forgiveness, just as you continually ask GOD for HIS. You have heard how we need to "be JESUS to each other", right? Well, now is one of those times when you need to be JESUS to someone - someone who happens to be the person you once fell in love with and married, the person who may be the other parent to your wonderful children, someone who you once told all of your hopes and dreams and thoughts and fears to.
Again, I am a nobody, really. I am just a man who had it placed on his heart a few years ago to start a website where people could bring their prayers before the LORD and have others pray over those prayers. I don't even know any of you, but I can honestly say that I love you. How much more does the LORD love you, because he knows you? How much more does your spouse love you, because they married you? The bottom line is, your spouse, in all of their faults, and in all of your faults, is still standing there, right there, totally in need of your love and strength right now. You made a vow before the LORD for a reason, and one of those reasons is because you meant it, "for better or worse".
Thus, it has been placed on my heart, for whatever reason, to sit down and just start typing, and type an open letter to all of you based upon the prayers that I have been praying over on this website daily ever since I started this website. I believe that everyone who has written a prayer on this site is a person who truly loves the LORD and has a true, heart-felt need for a touch from the LORD, and it is my prayer that everyone reading this right now, whether you are in a troubled marriage or not, will join with me in agreement in prayer for those lives that need to be touched, changed and healed:
Please pray this prayer with me:
Heavenly Father, I thank You that we have You to turn to in our time of hurt and need. I thank You that no matter how far short we may fall, You are always there with Your arms opened wide for us to run back into. You do not keep score, You do not hold grudges, even at times when all we are worthy of is for You to turn Your back on us and walk away. But You continue to set examples for us to learn from and live by. You continue to forgive us! You sent a true living example to all of us when You became flesh in the form of JESUS CHRIST. We ask You LORD that You touch the lives of all of us who are deeply in need of Your example of forgiveness. Teach us first, how to come to a place of being able to forgive. You know our hurts, You know what we have been through, and You know that feeling forgiveness toward someone who has hurt us is not the easiest thing for us to feel right now. But please touch our hearts and remind us of the times that we have hurt You and how, while we did not truly deserve it, You forgave us, You took us back into Your place of love, without any condition, without keeping any tally or score. No matter how many times we hurt You, You continue to say "that's ok, I forgive you and I love you". Help us, LORD, to be able to be that kind of people, a people filled with love and compassion and forgiveness for everyone, especially for those whom You have sent into our lives for us to love. Thank You for Your love, LORD, thank You for Your forgiveness and, most of all, thank You for hearing and answering this prayer, in JESUS' name, AMEN.
To the person who is finding it hard to forgive your
spouse, please pray this prayer (say your loved one's name in the space below):
Heavenly Father, I want to thank You for Your love and for Your forgiveness towards me. I know that I have not been perfect, and I know that I have been wrong in not being able to forgive ______________. It's just that, LORD, I hurt. I hurt inside because of what _________________ has done and also because of what I have done to hurt ______________. Please touch my heart and help me to be able to get past this pain and this anger and this lack of interest in wanting to forgive ________________ and just touch my heart and fill it with a desire to want to be more loving, less hurtful and more forgiving. Help me to love, help me to forgive, not just others, but also myself. I ask this prayer in the name of JESUS. AMEN
To the person who is in a hurtful relationship and doesn't know where to turn or what to do next, please pray this prayer (say your loved one's name in the space below):
Heavenly Father, I want to thank You for for Your love and for Your forgiveness towards me. I know that I have not been perfect in my relationship with _________________, but LORD I have tried. Please continue to wrap Your arms around me and help me. Please ease the pain of this relationship and please guide me in the path that You wish for me. I love ____________________ so much and want to work through our problems and get our relationship back on track again. Please touch _______________________'s heart, and please help us to restore the relationship that You brought us together to have. Please create an opportunity for us to be able to communicate with each other and work through the hurt and the anger and the fear that has brought us to the point that we are at now. Please restore our relationship back to the way it was in happier times. Please LORD I ask and pray it all in JESUS' name, AMEN.
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